There Is No “Right” Way to Meditate (Here’s What Actually Matters)

One of the things I hear most from clients is this: I want to meditate, but I just can’t.

I can’t sit still.

My mind wanders too much.

I can only do five minutes.

I heard it has to be longer for it to count.

I need to build up to twenty minutes or it does not matter… right?

No. No. No. NO.

If meditation only worked when all of those conditions were met, I would not meditate either.

This ADHD gal cannot sit still for long periods of time. A completely quiet mind for an entire meditation session? Not happening. A strict amount of time required for it to “matter”? Absolute hogwash.

What Meditation Actually Looks Like

The truth is that meditation does not have to look like someone sitting cross legged on a cushion in perfect silence for thirty minutes. Meditation is simply a state of presence. It is a moment where the noise fades enough for you to reconnect with yourself.

For me, meditation looks like walking.

I wake up ridiculously early and head outside while the world is still quiet. I walk with nothing in my ears. No podcast. No music. Just me, nature, and whatever thoughts want to pass through. Sometimes my mind is busy. Sometimes it is completely still. Most of the time I land somewhere in between.

That time allows me to tap back into myself. I release what needs to go. I sort through what actually matters. I step away from the chaos of the world and the chaos of my own mind.

That is meditation.

Think of meditation more like a flow state than a rigid practice. It is that space where you lose track of time and the constant mental chatter softens. You are not analyzing every thought or solving every problem. You are simply present.

You have probably experienced this before without even realizing it.

Have you ever been driving and suddenly arrived somewhere wondering how you got there so quickly? You hope you did not accidentally hit someone along the way, but you realize you were just completely in the zone.

That is a flow state. That is a meditative state.

You were not replaying old conversations in your head. You were not spiraling about work. You were not planning the next ten steps of your life.

You were simply there.

Meditation can happen in so many ways. Walking. Cooking. Gardening. Yoga. Even cleaning your kitchen can become meditative when you drop into the rhythm of the moment.

Movement works beautifully for many people, but it does not have to involve movement either.

Free writing is another powerful way to access a meditative state. Set a timer and let your pen move across the page without stopping. No editing. No thinking about whether it makes sense. Just allow your mind to empty onto the paper. This kind of brain dump creates space. It clears mental clutter and often brings surprising clarity.

The point is not perfection. The point is connection.

If you are trying to build a meditation practice, I encourage you to get curious. Step away from the rigid idea of what you think it should look like. Meditation is not a performance. It is a relationship with yourself.

Experiment. Try different things. Notice what helps you soften into presence.

Because at the end of the day, you are the one that matters here.

Find your flow.

Find your version of meditation. 🧘‍♀️